40 Moms 40 Messages

I know it is a struggle to live in a society that can constantly be harassing you. Dealing with people in your life that are unsupportive or mean. Living a life of shame or distress. I haven't had it easy and it has been a struggle. I don't hate myself for the person that I am and the person I have grown to become.  I accept myself and if there is something that I feel is a flaw I try to work on it, not for others but to become a better person.

I know its hard and we may not have the support we need to face the realities of this world. Just do me a favor and listen to this. You're not alone. None of us are. I am here for anyone who needs it. What this is, is a blessing in disguise.

A website called 40 moms 40 messages. If you don't have that ear to speak to or the words to get you through the day visit this site. There is somewhere you can turn to just don't give up. You don't have be alone for the holidays.

40 Moms 40 Messages

The Grass is greener on the Other Side!

I Love my mom. Now I know this may not seem relevant to me or to this blog but bear with me. I want to show you a little something I have come to appreciate.

Growing up my mom would tell me one day you are going to thank me for being so strict. My obvious grumbling under my breath, yea when pigs fly. I am telling you in confidence hoping you won't tell her, I am thankful to her. When I was a kid my mom seemed selfish, mean, angry, hostile and every other word you use to describe a parent as a teenager. All those adjectives were probably accurate to the person she could be but for a specific reason.

Not to get too off track, but sometimes her menstrual cycle made her crazy and she didn't understand it. Women haven't always discussed their personal lives, issues and concerns freely with others, making it difficult to understand what is going on in their lives. She read a book about 8 years ago and that helped her a lot to deal with many woman based problems.

As I got older I realized the grass was so fucking green on my side. I had great parents compared to others. I'm neither bragging nor insulting I just want others to appreciate what they have. Every single parent will make mistakes. Being a parent is all about learning. Children are brought into this world to teach us all something. Children keep us on our toes. Now not all of us are meant to be parents. My aunt has made an amazing aunt and Godmother to many of us, but she would not have been a great mom, it just wasn't for her.

The lessons I learned from my mom are simple; be strict, consistent and selfless. Everyone will make mistakes but they are there for us to learn from them. Never take any experience in vain, use it as a building block to be a better person. This is what makes a good parent not buying them everything they want. I am warning you that makes brats. Once your baby is born they become your child and you become their parent. They will have lots of friends and they don't need another friend they need a parent or parents. Only you can provide that.

Children are the greatest gift and they should never be taken for granted.

My mom isn't and will never be perfect, but she has taught me many valuable lessons not just about being a parent but also about life. I love her and on certain days I hate her and I can accept that. I love her for the person she has grown to be. The person she has changed into. The person who has made me a better person.

Thanksgiving Dinner 2012

The Holidays are my favorite days of the year when I can show of my culinary talents. Psychology is my fascination, sports is my outlet, writing is my passion and cooking is my hobby.

I was never taught how to cook. I had to watch as my mother did and see how I was going to replicate what she did. Let me tell you know my mom is not a great cook. There are a few dishes that she does well but she is the type who sees someone on a show do something and then she wants to be that creative and it doesn't usually go well.

I started cooking in High School, sometime around 15 when I wanted a fresher meal and mom was working lots of hours so our meals were cooked the day before for the next day. Not bad just not fresh. It was a team effort between my father and I, he would pick the protein, clean it and I would make it happen, we have become quite a team. I would get home from my practices and make something for my dad and I; my mom and brother would it when they got home or when they got hungry.

Unfortunately, my mom got used to it and I became the full time cook at my parents house. I then took over holiday and party duties. I am the resident chef at my parents and aunt's house. Holidays for me are difficult in the sense that my wife and I have to split the holiday between our families and usually her family gets the short end of the stick having to eat early, its not easy.

At my parents house it's my parents, my aunt, grandma, my wife and I and my brother. Its fun and exhausting getting to cook for everyone because they are all anticipating my masterpiece and they are all so grateful for my meals and my efforts.

Its a full days event from the preparing of protein, the cutting of vegetables, the making of sauces, watching the food cook in the oven, basting or turning to avoid burning. The few strolls people take into your kitchen to check on the progress trying to avoid looking like hungry starving humans. The smells and aromas circulating through the house arousing your senses and sparking an interest. The eventual phrases start swirling around like vultures: "It smells delicious I can't wait to eat." That isn't going to get the food finished any faster.

The menu for this years shindig was barbecue baby back ribs and a rack of dry rub baby back ribs, an italian sausage basil arugula pesto ritoni salad, baked potatoes with the fixings, and a corn-cilanto cream. Extremely non-traditional. I have never cooked a full turkey and dread the thought that it may come out dry. I made ham last year and I never make the same thing two years in a row, the year before we had New York Steaks.

You see for us it is not about the traditional thanksgiving meal but about being able to spend a meal all together. The ability to be thankful for our family not being separated. It's something we took for granted before my brother was in prison. I try to showcase my cooking talents on these few special days and enjoy the fact that my dad doesn't mind splurging on the menu items.

I am thankful for the moments spent around the table enjoying each others company because I don't know when those moments will be lost. I am thankful for a family who stands by my side when times have been tough. I am thankful for another year of life getting to do what I love and finding the activities that make me happy. Ultimately I am thankful for the woman who loves me unconditionally. My wife is the reason I wake up in the morning and try to be a better person who strives for success. She is the reason I have followed my heart to do what I am not only good at but what also makes me truly happy.

Be thankful for what you have. Remember you only die once once but live everyday. Live every day as if it is your last and stop regretting the past. Every time you regret your past you are cheating on your future. You don't want to look back 50 years from now and realize you lived a life full of regrets.