Ideas for fun

As promised ideas for fun in bed. Have fun and try new things. You know learn something new everyday.

Gels for the nipples or clits. Beware of the non-edible type because that limits the fun. The stimulation this can create while you're somewhere else having other fun is perfect for messing with the brain on what deserves attention most. There are some than can cool and others that can heat up.

Massage Oils - Now I know many people work really hard and come home tired as hell. So be the better person and say hey why don't I give you a nice massage to help you relax. (No expectations.) Make it worth their while and then add some sensuality. Get a little too close to their erogenous spots. Who knows maybe they won't be the only lucky one. 

Masssage Candles- Now I know many of you have seen in a movie or a sow where someone will burn a candle and then pour hot wax on their partner and for many of us this may seem ridiculous because of the pain. Therefore there are candles that are meant to

Vibrating rings- These are usually used for penises but if you think about it is meant for the penetration mechanism. However, you can use it on any of your fingers either those going into her or the one playing with her clit such as your thumb. This adds for stimulation without using an actual vibrator. You can also use while your tongue is in full swing.

I'll have a few more ideas soon especially for those interested in toys. Enjoy.

40 Moms 40 Messages

I know it is a struggle to live in a society that can constantly be harassing you. Dealing with people in your life that are unsupportive or mean. Living a life of shame or distress. I haven't had it easy and it has been a struggle. I don't hate myself for the person that I am and the person I have grown to become.  I accept myself and if there is something that I feel is a flaw I try to work on it, not for others but to become a better person.

I know its hard and we may not have the support we need to face the realities of this world. Just do me a favor and listen to this. You're not alone. None of us are. I am here for anyone who needs it. What this is, is a blessing in disguise.

A website called 40 moms 40 messages. If you don't have that ear to speak to or the words to get you through the day visit this site. There is somewhere you can turn to just don't give up. You don't have be alone for the holidays.

40 Moms 40 Messages

The Grass is greener on the Other Side!

I Love my mom. Now I know this may not seem relevant to me or to this blog but bear with me. I want to show you a little something I have come to appreciate.

Growing up my mom would tell me one day you are going to thank me for being so strict. My obvious grumbling under my breath, yea when pigs fly. I am telling you in confidence hoping you won't tell her, I am thankful to her. When I was a kid my mom seemed selfish, mean, angry, hostile and every other word you use to describe a parent as a teenager. All those adjectives were probably accurate to the person she could be but for a specific reason.

Not to get too off track, but sometimes her menstrual cycle made her crazy and she didn't understand it. Women haven't always discussed their personal lives, issues and concerns freely with others, making it difficult to understand what is going on in their lives. She read a book about 8 years ago and that helped her a lot to deal with many woman based problems.

As I got older I realized the grass was so fucking green on my side. I had great parents compared to others. I'm neither bragging nor insulting I just want others to appreciate what they have. Every single parent will make mistakes. Being a parent is all about learning. Children are brought into this world to teach us all something. Children keep us on our toes. Now not all of us are meant to be parents. My aunt has made an amazing aunt and Godmother to many of us, but she would not have been a great mom, it just wasn't for her.

The lessons I learned from my mom are simple; be strict, consistent and selfless. Everyone will make mistakes but they are there for us to learn from them. Never take any experience in vain, use it as a building block to be a better person. This is what makes a good parent not buying them everything they want. I am warning you that makes brats. Once your baby is born they become your child and you become their parent. They will have lots of friends and they don't need another friend they need a parent or parents. Only you can provide that.

Children are the greatest gift and they should never be taken for granted.

My mom isn't and will never be perfect, but she has taught me many valuable lessons not just about being a parent but also about life. I love her and on certain days I hate her and I can accept that. I love her for the person she has grown to be. The person she has changed into. The person who has made me a better person.

Fluidity of Sexuality

Fluidity of Sexuality is something that has been thrown around in our community/society/world everywhere. Don't hate me and don't stop reading there, allow me to make my point and then you can hit the x at the top of the page and come back when you're ready.

As a lesbian I would say that the biggest mistake a straight man can say when trying to hit on you is: "You just haven't met the right guy." Now the worst thing he can say is: "Let me show you what a real man can do." I don't know if that works for anyone but it makes me feel like you are forcing yourself on me.

Let me give you a brief science lecture on chromosomes, I mean bear with me just a little longer. Sex chromosomes are explained to us during some sort of stage of schooling usually biology. It's pretty basic there are 22 chromosomes and 2 sex chromosomes, X and Y. XX makes girl and XY makes boy pretty simple. As with anything there are anomalies. Some anomalies can be XXYY, XXXY, XXXXY (Klinefelter Syndrome). Another mutation can be an extra Y chromosome, XYY. These male were once thought to be taller than the average male and overly aggressive, although not all show these characteristics. Turner Syndome is a condition that affects females and they have only one X chromosome.  Lastly is Trisomy X females also referred to as metafemales or superfemales, females who have and additional X chromosome, XXX.

Now there are intersex conditions. These conditions include abnormalities of the external genitals, sex chromosomes, internal reproductive organs or sex-related hormones. This means external genitals are not easily identifiable as either female or male. Not to be confused with a hermaphrodite who have both male and female parts. Their internal reproductive organs can be either incomplete or unusual. There is an inconsistency in external genitalia and internal reproductive organs and sex chromosome abnormalities. There can be an abnormality of the testes or ovaries and an over-or underproduction of sex-related hormones. They may also have and inability of the body to respond normally to sex-related hormones.

Then the question becomes what are the repercussions for individuals who are intersexed. It is very difficult to determine this because many may not find out until they are adolescents who aren't going through puberty when everyone else is. Or when they are unable to reproduce and have no idea why, this is where mental health professionals are necessary.

In my opinion, and in a few studies, these individuals are more likely to face gender-identity issues. For example girls with Adrenal Hyperplasia (most of these conditions are the excessive or deficient production of sex steroids) are more likely to be tomboys than girls without an intersex condition. Also, individuals with intersex conditions show gender-atypical behavior. Now although most people with intersex conditions grow up to be heterosexual, some with specific intersex conditions have an increase likelihood of growing up to be gay, lesbian or bisexual adults.

ALL THIS  leads back to my point that your sexuality isn't simply black and white. When you fall in love with someone you don't fall in love with their sexual organs you fall in love with a person. People fall in love with people, that's what my wife says and I agree. Now remember don't confuse lust with love, because you do fall in lust with how they can pleasure you sexually.

Feel free to fall in love and lust with anyone in the human race and don't allow labels to constrict you.

Doctor Visit

The worst place for me is a Doctor's office and the ER. I was a very athletic kid and with sports come injuries. I have suffered everything from a broken nose, to sprained ankle bones popped out of sockets, to sprained wrist and torn ligaments. I never look forward to old age when all this comes back to haunt me. Then there were my allergies, sinus problems, migraines and ear surgeries in between and I'm considered healthy. I won't even go into my current ailments.

I've been going to the same place for well all my life. The doctor's have access to all my files so sometimes they like to look over it and ask about it. "Oh you're bunny bit you?" Yes and I wanted to make sure I didn't catch anything, next question. "Oh you got water in your ear." Yes, I have a hole in my eardrum and I slightly fell asleep in the shower now can you fix it. Then she says oh, you'll need surgery for that. It's just water in one ear isn't there something you can do for it. I mean they sell an over the counter product you must be able to fix it. Yea turns out the over the counter product contains alcohol and burned the shit out of me, my brother in law thought my wife was killing me when she put it in. I mean I can help with that but you need surgery for the hole in both eardrums. Fuck me sideways! I'll keep the holes and the water, Thank you very much. (I had both surgeries.) $24,000 and two sealed eardrums later and scars behind my ears making children everywhere think I have bionic ears.

Every time I go I just feel like I get bad news. I don't like it. As a lesbian though I love the "Are you sexually active," question. This is where I have learned to find the irony in the world and sarcasm thrives. "Yes I am sexually active." "Are you on birth control?" "No." "Do you use protection?" "No, why would I?." A smile starts to want to creep in but you can't laugh the doctor will think you're fucking with them. They're begins to look at you like you have just grown three heads and 6 eyeballs. "Why not?" Give it a few seconds and deliver the last line with a smile and all the comfort you do not feel when sitting naked in a hospital gown in a cold and sterile room waiting to be felt up by a doctor, "because I'm gay." All the lights and sirens go off. "OH." Funniest and best part of seeing a new doctor I mean the visit goes down hill from there. Especially, once they stick a stainless steel duckbill up your vajayjay, but it was fun while it lasted. For a few seconds they think your this slutty whore full of STD's and then its like wait so how do you have sex and then bam I'm an emotionless doctor again.

As much as I hate it though I recommend everyone go. You don't want to find out too late that you have something. Better safe than sorry.

Discriminated

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against, picket signs... Eminem-Cleaning out my closet

If you're a minority someway somehow you have been discriminated against. We live in a society where we glorify war and hate love. As a minority you have to understand all the issues that affect you. Issues that try to oppress you.

I face a few issues or problems because I check a few minority boxes; Hispanic, Lesbian, Woman. These are issues that have been fought for by generations before and issues we are still fighting.

Hispanics have faced racism from day one like all the non "Native American" ethinicities before and after them. I don't think that anyone besides Native Americans have a right over this land and they aren't the ones with the problem. For Mexicans they were denied their own territory. The one thing that pisses me off is that some "white people" (I use this term loosely) act superior when they're immigrants too. Now I say white because we as a society define each other by color. We don't bother to study geography enough to be able to discern where everyone is from. The worst part is the term race, we are ONE human race. I know that not all of them have a superiority complex I have met many great white, anglo-American people, but on that same token I have met some racist assholes. All ethnic backgrounds have people with superiority complexes, who believe they are better than others.

Woman fought for their right to be an equal gender. We are still payed less in the work environment and have to face a glass ceiling in male dominated environments. Recently in the elections our right to an abortion was an issue even though its our body and no one elses. The definition of what rape is was questioned by an ignorant bigot of a man. We are still treated as if we have no right to speak for ourselves and make our own decisions.

As a lesbian I am still fighting that battle, we all are. As homosexuals we are fighting for equality. We don't have simple human rights. We are denied rights because of who we sleep with or who we love. Lucky for me and my generation people have been fighting for our rights for years and have won a few.

Recently I went to get my haircut. I had long hair all my life, from the moment I came out the womb my mom insisted that I should have long beautiful hair, her words not mine. When I was 18 I cut it to mid-back then shoulder length. Then finally just short. I went and got my hair cut short on the sides no more than an inch long and longer at the top maybe 4-5 inches long. Now I have been going to the same hairstylist for the past 20 years, I was a kid when she first started cutting my hair. It was for this reason that when I decided to go short I didn't go to her. She's kind of like an aunt and her opinion weighs heavily on me. She cuts my mom's, grandma and aunts' hair. So I went to a different hairstylist for that reason and because my wife bought me a Groupon.

This isn't me, it's who the hairstyle was modeled after.

Now for the touch up I went to my hairstylist. And then as a famous Drag Queen says "The jig is up." It hit her like ton of bricks, I'm gay. I feared for my hair and head. My hairstylist is a Jehovah's Witness and I am not exactly a welcomed anomaly. I saw it in her eyes when it hit her. Then my edging up became a little harsher. I wanted to cry because I was still the same kid she had known for the past 20 years. I was still the same person and it hurt. I vowed not to go back. But how can I not go back she's good at what she does and she hadn't said anything.

The next time I went back she was different. She kind of looked at me and my wife and just smiled. I think that the months that went by helped her see that I was no different. She was back to talking to me and being herself and the haircut went smoother.

I have confidence and insecurities. I hold my head up high and hope to hell I don't fall. I make you think that I just don't give a fuck. Everyone in this world has an opinion and will judge you. Its up to you to decide how to deal with it. You can let it get you down for long periods of time. Or you can deal with it, accept it and use it to keep you going.

Remember most of the people who say no to homosexuality and same sex marriage will not pay for your bills, they will not visit you at the hospital, they will not hold you when you cry. Their opinions don't matter let them hate all they want. They're stressing about something that has nothing to do with them. If someone wants to worry about your private life then that's their problem. Just remember there are many communities that are there to support you. If none are in your area there are numbers you can call and you will see that you are not alone. I'm also here if you need anyone.

There is nothing wrong with you, with any of us. We are God's children. A wise woman said to me,  "No one is evil, but we all have evil within us. Some of us just let it run our lives." When life gets you down get back because it will get better. Don't lose faith and don't lose hope, we are all meant for greatness. Once you start finding your confidence everyone's stop mattering.

 www.GLBTnearMe.org
CONTACT INFO: 
Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

Proud

I am proud of my brother-in-law. Simple and to the point right. He's 21 and I feel like I helped in the process of raising him. Now, I in no way take credit for it. My wife, his sister, practically raised him from the time she was 6 up until he turned 18. So basically all 18 years of his life. I'm, not going to explain how it worked out that way, but, she was practically his mom for all intents and purposes. When she was old enough to work she paid for almost everything he had.

When she and I moved in together he ended up living with us, strange I know for such a new relationship. It was then that I matured just a little bit more. We both made sure to either take him to school or make sure he was out the door on time. Then when getting home he had chores to do. Then when either my wife or I came home from work we started dinner. So he lived with us his junior and senior year of high school not the easiest in a teenagers life and not the easiest for two women in their very early 20's.

The point I want to make is he made me proud today. Both he and his younger sister see me as their sister at this point so when they have accomplishments they either come to me or my wife and they know we will tell each other. Well he's a teacher's aide at a high school and tell us what he does in his classes. He explained that recently the lessons had taken on more of a discussion perspective instead of lectures. Now just to clarify he is not working with general population high school students but rather the elite of the school, students who are actually interested in college.

He brought up the topic of religion, one I will not really explore today but will sometime in the future. Now we all know this a touchy subject one rarely explored amongst the younger population. Now I will not go into the argument but he explained how in order to have a belief we need to understand what we are believing in. He said that he was willing to listen to anyone's argument if it contradicted his because he wanted to learn and understand. He wanted to see it from another person's perspective and if they can disprove the commonly accepted theory then he could then see their point.

Over the last few years I have met some truly close-minded individuals, varying in ages. Our younger population, usually 21 and under, tend to be very egocentric. Now I do not mean to offend anyone but the truth is that that age group tends to see things only their way and are not open to other peoples' opinions generally not taking advice from the older and wiser, not to say that all of our youth is this way. I can accept that I might have shown signs of this theory and I accept that I was wrong then.

It was an honor to see him open himself to the possibility that what he holds as true may be wrong. It was great to hear him speak of the lack of evolution amongst the community because of a lack of understanding. To hear him speak on the defensive of people against homosexuality was heart warming. I am proud of him because he is truly a great young man that will lead his generation to greatness someday. He is what our youth needs, strong-minded individuals willing to learn, wanting to progress and looking to succeed. An individual that doesn't want to follow a crowd, right or wrong but and individual that uses art to vocalize his opinion.

I am proud to call him my brother because he stands up for what he believes to be true.

LOVE

We are whatever we want to be. I want to be someone that I love. I want to love what I do.

Something that I love to do is write. I write stories, post, descriptions, captions whatever tickles my fancy. Currently I'm writing erotic lesbian stories. You can find a few stories HERE.  I have created an interactive way for my readers to experience my stories, by creating outfits for the characters on Polyvore. The outfits can also be found on Pinterest. 

Each story is mine and believe me if you feel that any character is familiar it is strictly a coincidence because these characters only exist in my imagination. Although all of them are based on something. Some of the views and opinions are not always easy to swallow. They may or may not be my view, but devil's advocate is a role I thrive on. I find it important to understand both points of view in order to defend your own. 

The one thing I have learned is, that life is never perfect. When you find stability there is usually something around that may offset you once again. The one thing I can't deny is that I love a happy ending. However, no story truly ends in real life. I want to give you all hope that love does exist. The mistake many of us make is that after our first love, we think it'll never happen again.  Do me a favor and be open to it. 

At the age of 18 I gave up on love and life with someone else. I had resigned myself to be alone. It was then that I met my wife. She snuck up on me. She was a strange anomaly who was just too happy for me. That was the best part, she was the exact person I never saw myself with. We went into our friendship literally just wanting to be friends. At the time she was a straight, women were never of any interest to her. She was unavailable to me, I mean I always knew she was pretty but I refrained from looking at her as dating potential. When we both realized what was happening well here we are a few years later happily married. 

My wife would be considered lipstick to the full extent. Her hair and make up are always done. Heels are a daily necessity for her. Outfits are put together the day before to make sure they are perfect. She packs for a two day trip like were going on a two week cruise. She loves to paint her nails. I mean to tell you how unexpected it was for me to date someone like her, before I met her all I ever did was wash my face and moisturize so everything she did was mind boggling. At this point I can tell you what a contouring brush is for when doing your make up, yup she has been a huge influence in my life and vice versa.

Our circumstances made it difficult for us to even think we could be together and to make it happen was scary. Everything pointed to us not being together not including the simple facts that we were both women. Being of a hispanic background myself and her having a hispanic and middle eastern background was the first of many trials we had to face. None of that mattered though when it came to the person I fell in love with and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with; the woman who has promised to spend the rest of her life with me.

You see as teenagers we tend to be a little tragic. I admit I sure was. Although, if you ask my friends they'll tell you otherwise. They may say that I was very mature and confident but I had insecurities that I never showed to the world. I gave up on love at 18 after my fist girlfriend, and I was the one who broke up with her. At that age the world starts and ends with us. We can't see past today to a better tomorrow. I thought I would be forever alone.

So if you're out there and think that it'll never happen, stop stressing. The love of our life may come in the least expected time in the least expected package. Trust me, please enjoy your youth, enjoy your life because its yours and no one elses'. Love yourself first you know you've heard that. Give yourself the opportunity to be happy for at least one day in your life.

If you ever feel like your alone write to me and I'll be your friend. Don't expect me to be fake. I'll be honest with you and I won't sugar coat it. Remember to accept your faults and learn to get past them. Don't just accept your faults and say well I know my faults and I accept them so you should too. That makes no sense. Accept your faults and make the necessary changes in your life to fix or modify your faults. Make it possible for others to be with you and not just stand you. Not changing to become a better person impedes growth of the mind body and soul. Be willing to become a better person and learn from your experiences. All those experiences will teach you something you will need when you find that special someone.

Love will always find a way!

WEHO Halloween 2012

Halloween, the day that allows you to let the freak in you out. Well the wifey and I were Dark Mad Hatter and Dark Alice. We spent the evening in the best place to parade around with all the normal freaks of the world WEHO (West Hollywood).

The first year we went I was working at one of the banks that was dead center of the parade. My wife was dropped off by her parents and my parents dropped of my costume as you can tell we were both still very young. I remember the most popular costumes being BDSM based costumes; lots of people with chains, cuffs, leather and whips. My favorites were the ladies and queens with their large wings dressed as Victoria Secret Angels, wearing 6 inch heels with platforms making them tower over everyone.

As the years have passed the costumes have been just as eccentric, with fully functioning transformers, expensive looking superhero costumes and homemade creative costumes such as a man blowing in the wind or people on stilts. I mean the amount of creativity is endless. Groups of people as a set of characters from movies, such as Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton version, the Justice League, or a group of Tina Turners. Two years ago everyone wanted to be Lady Gaga. 

Last night was no different than all the others years, however, the best part was the sense of unity. For the first time I did not see any protestors. That is what kills me, we don’t go to your church or your activities and force our beliefs down your throat, why would you come to our festival if you don’t like us. 

Well this year I didn’t see any but what I did see was the Sheriff’s Department, the firefighters and EMT’s out and about to keep the peace and taking care of everyone. I mean they’re always there but this time I really noticed how awesome they are. There was a patrol vehicle parked in front of the station and a few Sheriff’s. You could take pictures with them or them throwing you in the back of the vehicle or well let your creative juices flow and picture what you would do if the chance was presented to you and more than likely someone tried it.  It cost $3 and the money went to charity.

A group of gay guys in shiny leggings and glitter all over their chest asked a Sheriff if they could take a picture with him and he was cool about it. What stuck with me was when they said thank you and walked away, he said; “Be Safe and take care of yourselves out there.” I mean to many it may not mean anything but to me it showed how sensitive they are to the issues that face the LGBT community. In a world where we are still denied the right to marry, where we are bullied and murdered for who we are it is beautiful to see that some in law enforcement have our backs.  All throughout the parade Sheriff’s were asked to pose for pictures and not once saw did I see one say no. This also went for Fire Fighters and EMT’s, everyone was more than willing to pose for pictures. 

If you have never been, next year make sure to make time to join the fun. It starts at 6:00 PM and goes to 11:00 PM. However the clubs stay in full effect till the early morning hours. You can walk up and down Santa Monica, from La Cienega to Doheny Drive, in your costume. Check out what everyone else is wearing and how risque they can get. Be prepared for lots of skin, tucking and potentially X-rated costumes. I do not recommend bringing anyone under high school age, just because exposing them to some of that stuff isn’t appropriate in my eyes at least. The clubs get full and are open to everyone gay or not, with age restrictions of course. Once the clubs open, the drinks start to pour and the alcohol levels get a rising. So remember by 10 most people are a little tipsy, 12 drunk, later well most are falling on their ass. Don’t let that discourage you that is part of the fun. 

Bring a camera because the costumes are picture worthy. If your costume strikes someone as interesting they may want a picture of you or with you. I have never encountered any dreadful or dangerous situation but always be careful its a scary world out there. 

We were able to enjoy ourselves and make new friends all in one night and so can you. Remember to smile often you never know who might need one. Don’t forget to go check out the fun next year. And if you’re ever in town WEHO is always up for some fun. Maybe we’ll see each other there soon. 

Polyvore

Disneyland & Halloween Costumes

I went to Disneyland for the Mickey’s Halloween Party, that takes place in the afternoon, and I was seriously surprised and impressed. 

My wife loves Disneyland and therefore I go along for the ride because it makes her happy. I do have to admit that my love for their funnel cakes may play a small part. 

I want to say that I am happy at how much our society has progressed. We can argue that it has been slow and that its not enough but we should enjoy those small changes/victories. 

It’s amazing to see how many people wear costumes, how creative they get and how much they are willing to spend. What I love most is that young or old everyone loves Disneyland. Groups of teenagers, adults, grandparents with grandkids, families many dressed up. But what truly caught my attention was how many parents were willing to let their children pick gender opposite costumes. I mostly saw it with little girls but it was amazing and heart warming. 

Growing up my mom never let me wear anything a boy might have worn but she did let me play boy oriented sports, go figure. I wanted to be a power ranger, she gave me the pink one, I wanted red or green but I knew my role and I willingly wore the pink one. For some reason I thought it was better than the yellow one. Now in no way am I trying to constantly go against my mother, but since then I mainly just wear male specific costumes. Although this may be attributed to my wife and I getting matching outfits but even then I love the guy ones. I remember when I was in High school I bought my first pair of guy jeans and she made me go return them even though I had used my money from my job to buy them.  The only thing she was semi-lenient on was my sweatshirts and that was because those are basically unisex. 

Anyway, I thought it was very progressive of those parents to give their daughters the choice. Some of the costumes I saw were: Thor, Batman, Spiderman, Captain America, Woody, Buzz Lightyear, mainly superhero costumes. Now many will argue that there aren’t enough female superheroes. And, yes maybe but the important part is that they went out and let their daughters choose their costumes, and after they chose the parents supported their decision and bought it for them. 

Disney of course supplied the best of their costumes during their main street parade. 

It was a priceless moment for me and my wife. I think its important for us to not only teach the next generations the importance of acceptance but also of being less gender specific or gender biased. It doesn’t matter what your gender is, what’s important is respect and equality for all. All the labels in the world won’t matter as soon as we can stop being preoccupied with our external appearance and worry about the internal frame of thought. 

About Me

A basic question that everyone wants to know is ‘who are you’. How do you answer that? I am who I am, isn’t that enough? Not for most people. Therefore, here is what I will give you and then you can try to fit me into some sort of stereotyped label that has been built for someone like me. You’ll come to find that I do not fit any mold and neither do most. So let’s get started.

As a lesbian (label #1), and a Catholic (label #2) many will face the question of how does my religion fit into this? The answer is simple; every religion is based upon interpretation of the word of God or a higher power/being/energy, by man. Lesson number one learned from going to Catholic school for more than ten years was: Do not take the bible literally.  If you do not take anything from what I may write, please take that. Remember those were different times when the bible was written.

The second lesson I learned from the sisters at my school was “God doesn’t hate the sinner he hates the sin”. I had an epiphany that year, I was in the 7th grade and I remember my mind instantly going to homosexuality. My thought was “I don’t care if they’re gay, why would I hate them for no reason.”

That was the first inclination that I might have known I was gay.  

My parents put me in sports at the tender age of 5. I played t-ball with an all boys team. At the time, 20 years ago, there were no all girl teams for 5-year olds. Then I went to the minor’s league, same thing there, all boys. My dad was the one who used to take me to all my practices and stay until the end. He would also attend all my games, with my mom and brother. He, however, was my biggest supporter. I also had a mom who loved to dress me in pink pants, pink shirts, pink shoes, dresses but ultimately I was still a tomboy.

It all came down to who I was. The epic battle of Nature vs. Nurture, and let’s just say nature was the reigning champion with me. My mom wore dresses, high heels, skirts and make-up. And yet I wanted to wear tennis shoes, pants, t-shirt and ponytails all day every day. My mom wanted me to do cheerleading or drill team but I wanted to be outdoors playing sports.

Now don’t misunderstand me playing sports doesn’t make you gay. Please don’t stop your kids from playing sports because you’re scared that it will make them gay. Look at all the female athletes out there who are married with kids.

What I am trying to do is show you and help you understand that I identified with the male figure in my family. My brother identified with my mother and he is neither feminine nor gay.

Conclusion: sometimes it’s just who a child is, it’s just the way they are born.

I am not easily identifiable into the pretty lesbian labels which society has created. I wear skinny jeans and lose jeans, men’s and women’s. I wear tight shirts, blouses and men’s dress shirts. I have short hair but it’s long on the top and shorter on the side usually styled up into a pompadour style with a faux-hawk towards the back. I spend time doing my hair and make-up before I leave the house.

My wife says I’m chap-stick (label #3), but the heels I wear when I have to dress up for work or job interviews or funerals, which are like job interviews, make me real lipstick. Although the suit and chucks I’m wearing on our wedding day say otherwise.

I hope that you can see where I’m going with this. Most people will not fit into one cute little box. No matter what you think you know there will always be something to tell you otherwise. Being Gay isn’t just about genes or choices; it’s also about life experiences. I will not discount anyone’s reason for being gay because everybody has and will have different experiences that shape us to be who we are. We just have to embrace who we are and why we are that way.

So to answer who I am…  I guess you’re going to have to keep coming around to see what else you can find out.