Acceptance of Our Differences

In my life I have been truly blessed. I was born into a generation where many before us have fought battles for us in order for us to be just a little bit more free. I was born into a society where I could be gay and not be scared of being persecuted. I am blessed to be able to hold my wife's hand and not feel shame. Unfortunately, not every society, not every generation and not all genders have that opportunity.

The LGBT community is a minority community. In some cities there are large groups committed to providing help and support. However in some areas they don't have strong communities. Within the community there is discrimination towards each other. An example would be against the transgender community. Lesbians towards transgender men, gay males towards transgender women. Is it not enough that straight people discriminate but we feel the need to do it to each other.

I hate discrimination with a passion because it so often stems from hypocracy. So many times people dislike others because they hate that about themselves. For many homophobic people they have feelings within themselves that they either do not accept or do not understand.

I recently read of a story of a transgender male who was made fun of by butch lesbians and their femme girlfriends.  Butch and femme couples will often encounter men who will say offensive statements such as: 'Let me show you what a real man can do.' It's like dealing with children. I worked with children for over 10 years, I was a kid (teenager) myself when I started. "Do unto others as you want done to you." Even they understand that simple concept.

I was 12 when a 8 year old boy said "I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body." For as long as I had known him he just seemed to have a lot of female tendencies and then when he blurted this out it made sense to me and I went on with my childhood.  The fact that he was so young and he seemed to comprehend that concept was a bit peculiar. He understood the concept that he didn't feel comfortable in his own skin but he had an idea of what comfort he was seeking. On top of that his parents were teachers who constantly tried talking to him to understand what he was going through. We all just wrote it off as he was gay. Now I think he may have become a Drag Queen or transgender.

What I want you to understand is that sometimes we just don't feel comfortable in our own skin. A person can feel that societies ideas or norms for their gender don't make them feel comfortable. As a human race we evolve. As societies we move forward we adjust to fit. We adjust to what is comfortable and what our views are. All that we ever want to do is be comfortable with who we are so who are you to judge and bully someone else if you have your own so called faults.

No one will ever be perfect. No one will ever be a perfect fit for a label and its stereotypes. This is why you have to accept that everyone is different. You do not have to accept the why but it try to understand it. Do not judge others if they are not harming anyone. It is not your job to judge it is your job to live your life to the fullest without hurting others. Until you are in someone else's exact position you will not understand them. Remember you never know what is going on in someone else's head. Your comment could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Do you want to hold someone's life in your hand? Do you want to be responsible for the death of a human being? I sure as hell don't. Then again I know that others are different, will always be different and we just have to accept it and embrace it.

Open your Mind and Let your Body be Free

I love where I live and where I've grown up. I've been allotted this freedom to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I've grown up with the ability to not only live within the box but to experience life outside of it and that is what is most important to me. Freedom! I was taught tolerance towards the unknown. There in lies fear. We fear what we do not understand what we do not know.

I want to open your eyes to what is out there, out here, out in the world. Sometimes when we live in a Metropolitan city we are blind to the world outside of the city. There are so many people who can't tell the difference between a goat and a lamb, can't tell you how plants survive, they don't know that some cities don't have skyscrapers or a Starbucks on every corner. We think some people live sheltered lives and sometimes we do too, to an extent.

Point of this that I want you to hear me out. I love to write lesbian stories, most of the one's that are out there and published are Lesbian Erotica.  That said, sex is a large part of what I write but more than that is the act of love. Now I know many will not agree with me but for me Sex is directly connected to love. The love of the person you are with, the love of who they are, the love of their body or the love of the act.

All this has lead me to being open minded about trying new things.

My wife and I have been together 7 years and we were pretty new to everything when we first got together. Now that being said we weren't for long. When we got together it was hard for us to do anything other than leave the bedroom, I mean we had months of repressed feelings to get through. It took a while to get past the newness and truth be told it's still new for us.

The best part about being with someone you love and love being intimate with is, finding new things to do and new ways to do it. Explore each other and take your time and never be to shy to ask for what you want or need. Hiding what you want is just going to make you frustrated. One of the funnest and easiest ways to try something different is a sex toy.

                             
I know some people are really adverse and believe that anything on your body is fair game and therefore you don't need anything else and by all intents an purposes you are right. But let me tell you a toy can add an extra something that leaves your mouth and hands free to do as they please while adding some stimulation somewhere else. Just give it a thought for a little while and soon enough I'll give you a list of fun stuff to try that won't be too hard.

SEX

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me.

Now it isn't a taboo or at least it shouldn't be. If there's one thing I am willing to talk about its sex. If anyone knows anything about me it is that I write Lesbian Erotica. I read all sorts of books and I have favorites like everyone else. After many years of trying to figure out what I like, writing is highest on the list. I'm generally considered a Lesbian and I'm cool with that. I mean I dated girls, my wife's a woman so yea I'm a lesbian.

Now because I identify with that sexuality I like to read about others relationships. I live in LA and most people think that we are just like the characters on The L Word or The Real L word. Now that isn't absolutely wrong because my wife is a make up artist and works for companies during Fashion week. I myself work, well its safer for me to not say what I do, this life and that life don't exactly mesh too well. But what I love to do is Cook and Write, two of my biggest hobbies.

That being said I'm sure all Lesbians must have encountered at some point some difficulty with finding someone with similar interest to you.Well when I started writing it was an outlet for me to reach others just like me. Give them an idea of what life is like out there. My stories include a lot of truth to them and that's the fun part deciphering the truth from the fantasy.

Going further I have to say that sex can be such a touchy subject for so many people. It doesn't have to be. Sex is natural as long as it is between two consenting adults I say go for it, just be safe.

Now if you asked me about sex in High School; I looked away I wasn't going to talk about it, hell most of my friends were straight so hearing about straight sex was worse, I couldn't understand why anyone wanted to do it. Then I became  lesbian and figured out ways of having orgasms and I was like wait my friends never talk about that part. All that other stuff means nothing compared to the release of euphoria when you're just so tense. When you don't even want to move because you just want to enjoy the bliss. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Just remember sex isn't a taboo subject, especially not with your partner. Talk about like and dislikes, preferences and hell even fantasies they may just surprise you and maybe you can surprise them too. Be open to new ideas to share with each other and be willing to listen as you expect them to listen to you. Don't be scared because of everything you may have been told growing up. I promise you there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex between two hot and horny consenting adults.

Fluidity of Sexuality

Fluidity of Sexuality is something that has been thrown around in our community/society/world everywhere. Don't hate me and don't stop reading there, allow me to make my point and then you can hit the x at the top of the page and come back when you're ready.

As a lesbian I would say that the biggest mistake a straight man can say when trying to hit on you is: "You just haven't met the right guy." Now the worst thing he can say is: "Let me show you what a real man can do." I don't know if that works for anyone but it makes me feel like you are forcing yourself on me.

Let me give you a brief science lecture on chromosomes, I mean bear with me just a little longer. Sex chromosomes are explained to us during some sort of stage of schooling usually biology. It's pretty basic there are 22 chromosomes and 2 sex chromosomes, X and Y. XX makes girl and XY makes boy pretty simple. As with anything there are anomalies. Some anomalies can be XXYY, XXXY, XXXXY (Klinefelter Syndrome). Another mutation can be an extra Y chromosome, XYY. These male were once thought to be taller than the average male and overly aggressive, although not all show these characteristics. Turner Syndome is a condition that affects females and they have only one X chromosome.  Lastly is Trisomy X females also referred to as metafemales or superfemales, females who have and additional X chromosome, XXX.

Now there are intersex conditions. These conditions include abnormalities of the external genitals, sex chromosomes, internal reproductive organs or sex-related hormones. This means external genitals are not easily identifiable as either female or male. Not to be confused with a hermaphrodite who have both male and female parts. Their internal reproductive organs can be either incomplete or unusual. There is an inconsistency in external genitalia and internal reproductive organs and sex chromosome abnormalities. There can be an abnormality of the testes or ovaries and an over-or underproduction of sex-related hormones. They may also have and inability of the body to respond normally to sex-related hormones.

Then the question becomes what are the repercussions for individuals who are intersexed. It is very difficult to determine this because many may not find out until they are adolescents who aren't going through puberty when everyone else is. Or when they are unable to reproduce and have no idea why, this is where mental health professionals are necessary.

In my opinion, and in a few studies, these individuals are more likely to face gender-identity issues. For example girls with Adrenal Hyperplasia (most of these conditions are the excessive or deficient production of sex steroids) are more likely to be tomboys than girls without an intersex condition. Also, individuals with intersex conditions show gender-atypical behavior. Now although most people with intersex conditions grow up to be heterosexual, some with specific intersex conditions have an increase likelihood of growing up to be gay, lesbian or bisexual adults.

ALL THIS  leads back to my point that your sexuality isn't simply black and white. When you fall in love with someone you don't fall in love with their sexual organs you fall in love with a person. People fall in love with people, that's what my wife says and I agree. Now remember don't confuse lust with love, because you do fall in lust with how they can pleasure you sexually.

Feel free to fall in love and lust with anyone in the human race and don't allow labels to constrict you.