Acceptance of Our Differences

In my life I have been truly blessed. I was born into a generation where many before us have fought battles for us in order for us to be just a little bit more free. I was born into a society where I could be gay and not be scared of being persecuted. I am blessed to be able to hold my wife's hand and not feel shame. Unfortunately, not every society, not every generation and not all genders have that opportunity.

The LGBT community is a minority community. In some cities there are large groups committed to providing help and support. However in some areas they don't have strong communities. Within the community there is discrimination towards each other. An example would be against the transgender community. Lesbians towards transgender men, gay males towards transgender women. Is it not enough that straight people discriminate but we feel the need to do it to each other.

I hate discrimination with a passion because it so often stems from hypocracy. So many times people dislike others because they hate that about themselves. For many homophobic people they have feelings within themselves that they either do not accept or do not understand.

I recently read of a story of a transgender male who was made fun of by butch lesbians and their femme girlfriends.  Butch and femme couples will often encounter men who will say offensive statements such as: 'Let me show you what a real man can do.' It's like dealing with children. I worked with children for over 10 years, I was a kid (teenager) myself when I started. "Do unto others as you want done to you." Even they understand that simple concept.

I was 12 when a 8 year old boy said "I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body." For as long as I had known him he just seemed to have a lot of female tendencies and then when he blurted this out it made sense to me and I went on with my childhood.  The fact that he was so young and he seemed to comprehend that concept was a bit peculiar. He understood the concept that he didn't feel comfortable in his own skin but he had an idea of what comfort he was seeking. On top of that his parents were teachers who constantly tried talking to him to understand what he was going through. We all just wrote it off as he was gay. Now I think he may have become a Drag Queen or transgender.

What I want you to understand is that sometimes we just don't feel comfortable in our own skin. A person can feel that societies ideas or norms for their gender don't make them feel comfortable. As a human race we evolve. As societies we move forward we adjust to fit. We adjust to what is comfortable and what our views are. All that we ever want to do is be comfortable with who we are so who are you to judge and bully someone else if you have your own so called faults.

No one will ever be perfect. No one will ever be a perfect fit for a label and its stereotypes. This is why you have to accept that everyone is different. You do not have to accept the why but it try to understand it. Do not judge others if they are not harming anyone. It is not your job to judge it is your job to live your life to the fullest without hurting others. Until you are in someone else's exact position you will not understand them. Remember you never know what is going on in someone else's head. Your comment could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Do you want to hold someone's life in your hand? Do you want to be responsible for the death of a human being? I sure as hell don't. Then again I know that others are different, will always be different and we just have to accept it and embrace it.

40 Moms 40 Messages

I know it is a struggle to live in a society that can constantly be harassing you. Dealing with people in your life that are unsupportive or mean. Living a life of shame or distress. I haven't had it easy and it has been a struggle. I don't hate myself for the person that I am and the person I have grown to become.  I accept myself and if there is something that I feel is a flaw I try to work on it, not for others but to become a better person.

I know its hard and we may not have the support we need to face the realities of this world. Just do me a favor and listen to this. You're not alone. None of us are. I am here for anyone who needs it. What this is, is a blessing in disguise.

A website called 40 moms 40 messages. If you don't have that ear to speak to or the words to get you through the day visit this site. There is somewhere you can turn to just don't give up. You don't have be alone for the holidays.

40 Moms 40 Messages

Discriminated

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against, picket signs... Eminem-Cleaning out my closet

If you're a minority someway somehow you have been discriminated against. We live in a society where we glorify war and hate love. As a minority you have to understand all the issues that affect you. Issues that try to oppress you.

I face a few issues or problems because I check a few minority boxes; Hispanic, Lesbian, Woman. These are issues that have been fought for by generations before and issues we are still fighting.

Hispanics have faced racism from day one like all the non "Native American" ethinicities before and after them. I don't think that anyone besides Native Americans have a right over this land and they aren't the ones with the problem. For Mexicans they were denied their own territory. The one thing that pisses me off is that some "white people" (I use this term loosely) act superior when they're immigrants too. Now I say white because we as a society define each other by color. We don't bother to study geography enough to be able to discern where everyone is from. The worst part is the term race, we are ONE human race. I know that not all of them have a superiority complex I have met many great white, anglo-American people, but on that same token I have met some racist assholes. All ethnic backgrounds have people with superiority complexes, who believe they are better than others.

Woman fought for their right to be an equal gender. We are still payed less in the work environment and have to face a glass ceiling in male dominated environments. Recently in the elections our right to an abortion was an issue even though its our body and no one elses. The definition of what rape is was questioned by an ignorant bigot of a man. We are still treated as if we have no right to speak for ourselves and make our own decisions.

As a lesbian I am still fighting that battle, we all are. As homosexuals we are fighting for equality. We don't have simple human rights. We are denied rights because of who we sleep with or who we love. Lucky for me and my generation people have been fighting for our rights for years and have won a few.

Recently I went to get my haircut. I had long hair all my life, from the moment I came out the womb my mom insisted that I should have long beautiful hair, her words not mine. When I was 18 I cut it to mid-back then shoulder length. Then finally just short. I went and got my hair cut short on the sides no more than an inch long and longer at the top maybe 4-5 inches long. Now I have been going to the same hairstylist for the past 20 years, I was a kid when she first started cutting my hair. It was for this reason that when I decided to go short I didn't go to her. She's kind of like an aunt and her opinion weighs heavily on me. She cuts my mom's, grandma and aunts' hair. So I went to a different hairstylist for that reason and because my wife bought me a Groupon.

This isn't me, it's who the hairstyle was modeled after.

Now for the touch up I went to my hairstylist. And then as a famous Drag Queen says "The jig is up." It hit her like ton of bricks, I'm gay. I feared for my hair and head. My hairstylist is a Jehovah's Witness and I am not exactly a welcomed anomaly. I saw it in her eyes when it hit her. Then my edging up became a little harsher. I wanted to cry because I was still the same kid she had known for the past 20 years. I was still the same person and it hurt. I vowed not to go back. But how can I not go back she's good at what she does and she hadn't said anything.

The next time I went back she was different. She kind of looked at me and my wife and just smiled. I think that the months that went by helped her see that I was no different. She was back to talking to me and being herself and the haircut went smoother.

I have confidence and insecurities. I hold my head up high and hope to hell I don't fall. I make you think that I just don't give a fuck. Everyone in this world has an opinion and will judge you. Its up to you to decide how to deal with it. You can let it get you down for long periods of time. Or you can deal with it, accept it and use it to keep you going.

Remember most of the people who say no to homosexuality and same sex marriage will not pay for your bills, they will not visit you at the hospital, they will not hold you when you cry. Their opinions don't matter let them hate all they want. They're stressing about something that has nothing to do with them. If someone wants to worry about your private life then that's their problem. Just remember there are many communities that are there to support you. If none are in your area there are numbers you can call and you will see that you are not alone. I'm also here if you need anyone.

There is nothing wrong with you, with any of us. We are God's children. A wise woman said to me,  "No one is evil, but we all have evil within us. Some of us just let it run our lives." When life gets you down get back because it will get better. Don't lose faith and don't lose hope, we are all meant for greatness. Once you start finding your confidence everyone's stop mattering.

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