Discriminated

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against, picket signs... Eminem-Cleaning out my closet

If you're a minority someway somehow you have been discriminated against. We live in a society where we glorify war and hate love. As a minority you have to understand all the issues that affect you. Issues that try to oppress you.

I face a few issues or problems because I check a few minority boxes; Hispanic, Lesbian, Woman. These are issues that have been fought for by generations before and issues we are still fighting.

Hispanics have faced racism from day one like all the non "Native American" ethinicities before and after them. I don't think that anyone besides Native Americans have a right over this land and they aren't the ones with the problem. For Mexicans they were denied their own territory. The one thing that pisses me off is that some "white people" (I use this term loosely) act superior when they're immigrants too. Now I say white because we as a society define each other by color. We don't bother to study geography enough to be able to discern where everyone is from. The worst part is the term race, we are ONE human race. I know that not all of them have a superiority complex I have met many great white, anglo-American people, but on that same token I have met some racist assholes. All ethnic backgrounds have people with superiority complexes, who believe they are better than others.

Woman fought for their right to be an equal gender. We are still payed less in the work environment and have to face a glass ceiling in male dominated environments. Recently in the elections our right to an abortion was an issue even though its our body and no one elses. The definition of what rape is was questioned by an ignorant bigot of a man. We are still treated as if we have no right to speak for ourselves and make our own decisions.

As a lesbian I am still fighting that battle, we all are. As homosexuals we are fighting for equality. We don't have simple human rights. We are denied rights because of who we sleep with or who we love. Lucky for me and my generation people have been fighting for our rights for years and have won a few.

Recently I went to get my haircut. I had long hair all my life, from the moment I came out the womb my mom insisted that I should have long beautiful hair, her words not mine. When I was 18 I cut it to mid-back then shoulder length. Then finally just short. I went and got my hair cut short on the sides no more than an inch long and longer at the top maybe 4-5 inches long. Now I have been going to the same hairstylist for the past 20 years, I was a kid when she first started cutting my hair. It was for this reason that when I decided to go short I didn't go to her. She's kind of like an aunt and her opinion weighs heavily on me. She cuts my mom's, grandma and aunts' hair. So I went to a different hairstylist for that reason and because my wife bought me a Groupon.

This isn't me, it's who the hairstyle was modeled after.

Now for the touch up I went to my hairstylist. And then as a famous Drag Queen says "The jig is up." It hit her like ton of bricks, I'm gay. I feared for my hair and head. My hairstylist is a Jehovah's Witness and I am not exactly a welcomed anomaly. I saw it in her eyes when it hit her. Then my edging up became a little harsher. I wanted to cry because I was still the same kid she had known for the past 20 years. I was still the same person and it hurt. I vowed not to go back. But how can I not go back she's good at what she does and she hadn't said anything.

The next time I went back she was different. She kind of looked at me and my wife and just smiled. I think that the months that went by helped her see that I was no different. She was back to talking to me and being herself and the haircut went smoother.

I have confidence and insecurities. I hold my head up high and hope to hell I don't fall. I make you think that I just don't give a fuck. Everyone in this world has an opinion and will judge you. Its up to you to decide how to deal with it. You can let it get you down for long periods of time. Or you can deal with it, accept it and use it to keep you going.

Remember most of the people who say no to homosexuality and same sex marriage will not pay for your bills, they will not visit you at the hospital, they will not hold you when you cry. Their opinions don't matter let them hate all they want. They're stressing about something that has nothing to do with them. If someone wants to worry about your private life then that's their problem. Just remember there are many communities that are there to support you. If none are in your area there are numbers you can call and you will see that you are not alone. I'm also here if you need anyone.

There is nothing wrong with you, with any of us. We are God's children. A wise woman said to me,  "No one is evil, but we all have evil within us. Some of us just let it run our lives." When life gets you down get back because it will get better. Don't lose faith and don't lose hope, we are all meant for greatness. Once you start finding your confidence everyone's stop mattering.

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Coffee is My Drug of Choice

Hi my name is Mon Amante and I am addicted to coffee.

Step # 1 Acceptance. Now just to be clear I like it and I don't want to change. It's not harming me. I believe coffee is my drug of choice. I accept that coffee is a part of my life. Unlike other drugs it doesn't control me.

Let's go over what coffee means to me. When my dad was growing up, his family had a large carafe of coffee, in his backyard, on a table, next to an outdoor stove. My great-grandmother would make this large amount of coffee and place cups next to it for everyone who lived on the property and the workers. Therefore, everyone would just grab a cup and go. My dads' been drinking 3-5 cups of coffee a day since he was a kid. Which is about 50 years. On my mom's side of the family my grandma used to pick coffee from the volcano when she was in her 20's and 30's. For my family in the afternoon they had a piece of sweet bread and a cup of coffee. My pops has had the same coffee cup for almost 20 years. Coffee is a way of life.

Many studies out there show the pro's and con's of coffee, but when you've grown up on something those studies mean nothing. We live in a society where a $5 cup of coffee a day is normal. Where there is at least one coffee shop in every town, I live inDowntown LA and there are at least 25 Starbucks alone within a 10 mile radius of me. Our society is ruled by the God known as coffee. (Don't worry my God knows I'm joking.)

Thankfully I am not bound to any specific coffee like my ancestors. My addiction spans into the possibilities of frappuccinos, cappuccinos, lattes, americanos, macchiatos and a plain cup of Joe or milk with instant coffee instead of espresso like a latte. I can be versatile.

In my house I have an espresso machine with a milk steamer, a regular 12 cup coffee machine, instant coffee and a french press. I know it's an addiction and I accept it and I deal with it. My brother ended up working at a coffee shop, and when I needed a job for a few months I worked there too. It was the best place for me to work. I learned how to brew the perfect cup, pull the perfect espresso shot, the perfect temperature for milk to be steamed to. I learned about different flavors, the right grinding size, the strength levels and so much more. I do have to say at the time it really helped with the cost of coffee in my life.

I also learned the difficult lesson that too much strong coffee is not good to my stomach. To be honest at that time I was having about 5 shots of espresso throughout my 6 hour shift plus whatever I had at home. You see the company I worked for believed in quality and they only served the best and the freshest stuff out there. I eventually went down to a 1/2 caff drink or decaf sometimes.

Ultimately I love coffee and it's a part of my daily life. I can give it up although I don't see the point of it. No harm no foul. If you ever have a coffee question let me know and ask away. I have a fair amount of coffee knowledge and I make a mean latte and cappuccino.

Proud

I am proud of my brother-in-law. Simple and to the point right. He's 21 and I feel like I helped in the process of raising him. Now, I in no way take credit for it. My wife, his sister, practically raised him from the time she was 6 up until he turned 18. So basically all 18 years of his life. I'm, not going to explain how it worked out that way, but, she was practically his mom for all intents and purposes. When she was old enough to work she paid for almost everything he had.

When she and I moved in together he ended up living with us, strange I know for such a new relationship. It was then that I matured just a little bit more. We both made sure to either take him to school or make sure he was out the door on time. Then when getting home he had chores to do. Then when either my wife or I came home from work we started dinner. So he lived with us his junior and senior year of high school not the easiest in a teenagers life and not the easiest for two women in their very early 20's.

The point I want to make is he made me proud today. Both he and his younger sister see me as their sister at this point so when they have accomplishments they either come to me or my wife and they know we will tell each other. Well he's a teacher's aide at a high school and tell us what he does in his classes. He explained that recently the lessons had taken on more of a discussion perspective instead of lectures. Now just to clarify he is not working with general population high school students but rather the elite of the school, students who are actually interested in college.

He brought up the topic of religion, one I will not really explore today but will sometime in the future. Now we all know this a touchy subject one rarely explored amongst the younger population. Now I will not go into the argument but he explained how in order to have a belief we need to understand what we are believing in. He said that he was willing to listen to anyone's argument if it contradicted his because he wanted to learn and understand. He wanted to see it from another person's perspective and if they can disprove the commonly accepted theory then he could then see their point.

Over the last few years I have met some truly close-minded individuals, varying in ages. Our younger population, usually 21 and under, tend to be very egocentric. Now I do not mean to offend anyone but the truth is that that age group tends to see things only their way and are not open to other peoples' opinions generally not taking advice from the older and wiser, not to say that all of our youth is this way. I can accept that I might have shown signs of this theory and I accept that I was wrong then.

It was an honor to see him open himself to the possibility that what he holds as true may be wrong. It was great to hear him speak of the lack of evolution amongst the community because of a lack of understanding. To hear him speak on the defensive of people against homosexuality was heart warming. I am proud of him because he is truly a great young man that will lead his generation to greatness someday. He is what our youth needs, strong-minded individuals willing to learn, wanting to progress and looking to succeed. An individual that doesn't want to follow a crowd, right or wrong but and individual that uses art to vocalize his opinion.

I am proud to call him my brother because he stands up for what he believes to be true.

Characters That Inspire!

If you're ever in the mood for a little adventure check out some outfits you can wear for a night on the town or dinner with a friend. You can also check out some of my other creations and let life imitate art by picking a character that calls your name. Check out my Polyvore for outfit ideas. Enjoy.

Is She or Isn't She?

All my friends have known I'm gay since we left High School. But my parents either don't know or don't want to talk about it. As long as no one talks about it or says it out loud it isn't true. I've been a Lesbian since I was at least 14 and dating girls  few months later at 15. I have never introduced them to any guys since I was in middle school and then they were friends. I don't say hey I'm going out with a guy and for the past few years that my wife and I have been together she's always with me when I visit them.

I know you're wondering how this works. I know of a few parents who do the why don't you get married and have a few kids. My mom isn't the type to meddle in my life, she figures if she asks and I tell her the truth well you can't undo it. She is closer to my brother and I am closer to my father. My brother goes to her and tells her everything , according to her. I know for a fact that he only tells her what he wants her to know. I am closer to my father we don't talk about anything serious but I love to listen to his stories about when he was growing up and the adventures of his youth. We bond over how much we can save on coupons, I know it may sound lame for some people, but its good for us.

When I was 13 I tried telling my mom about how I liked someone, a boy, and she dismissed it and got all "you should be worrying about studying not boys". Needless to say I never told her anything about my life after that I felt so let down. So as time has gone by when she is the mood to ask my life is going I bring up my friends and tell her about their lives to keep the attention away from me. It works every time.

My wife and I started dating when I was 19. We moved in together about a year and a half later. We spend all of our holidays together. We also travel between families for holidays, together. We share a car, she always had my phone and her picture is displayed inside my wallet. I figure my mom knows she just chooses to pretend.

The way I see it is she doesn't want to say it out loud, because then its real. Both of our families are alike in that sense. In our families we would be the first openly gay people. That sounds awkward, we would be first gay generation? I don't but you get me. I mean its not like I flaunt it, we try to be respectful of our families in public so that they don't hear about us from someone else and force them to deal with the issues. The thing is I'm at the point where I don't want to keep putting others happiness before my own.

When I was younger I didn't care about whether they knew or not but now it does feel like it weighs down on me. I think part of me wants to make our future plans known. We will be having children in the future. Our vow renewal will be in a few months in New York and a part of me wants my family there but I know deep down inside that they won't show up, they're not ready.

A lot of people think that as long as you know who you are, that's enough. I thought so too. Everyone handles it differently. Many of us will face many different emotions. Some find that anger begins to boil within for many reasons.

Anger may arise because of how others people's attitudes affect you. If society makes you feel like you can't be yourself, they make you feel that you are wrong. Many may say it's a choice and you chose wrong. Anger arises from acts of discrimination or violence. Having to face people who tell you it's a phase and don't take you seriously. Anger because you feel you have to hide. Anger can be both good and bad. Use it as an opportunity to make a difference, don't use it as fuel to act out.

Depression is also something that is prevalent amongst homosexuals. It often arises from a feeling of loneliness. Sometimes it stems from not being able to receive support from those who we love the most. The feeling of being judged and being made to feel like your a virus that they can catch. Believe me you can't catch it. Also if it were unnatural we wouldn't see it in the animal kingdom. It has been observed in over 1500 species and well documented in at least 500 of them. Is it a phase for them too and if its contagious why aren't all of them gay.

You're not wrong and you're not alone. You're not a virus and it may or may not be a phase. You just may be attracted to a very specific person. Don't let labels worry you it means nothing unless you let it bother you because you know who and what you are. It takes time for anyone to know who they are in order to find who they are meant to be with. You need to be ready to accept this person into your life when they come. Meeting others in the process allows for you to learn from your experiences together. Never regret anything you do or anyone you are with. Simply learn from you mistakes and your experiences, that way it was worth your time.

Don't go looking for love, look for life. Look to enjoy yourself in everything you do. What's most important is for you to be comfortable with who you are.

If I can teach you something today is always be comfortable with who you are. Find yourself while that special someone is finding themselves and together you'll find each other.

LOVE

We are whatever we want to be. I want to be someone that I love. I want to love what I do.

Something that I love to do is write. I write stories, post, descriptions, captions whatever tickles my fancy. Currently I'm writing erotic lesbian stories. You can find a few stories HERE.  I have created an interactive way for my readers to experience my stories, by creating outfits for the characters on Polyvore. The outfits can also be found on Pinterest. 

Each story is mine and believe me if you feel that any character is familiar it is strictly a coincidence because these characters only exist in my imagination. Although all of them are based on something. Some of the views and opinions are not always easy to swallow. They may or may not be my view, but devil's advocate is a role I thrive on. I find it important to understand both points of view in order to defend your own. 

The one thing I have learned is, that life is never perfect. When you find stability there is usually something around that may offset you once again. The one thing I can't deny is that I love a happy ending. However, no story truly ends in real life. I want to give you all hope that love does exist. The mistake many of us make is that after our first love, we think it'll never happen again.  Do me a favor and be open to it. 

At the age of 18 I gave up on love and life with someone else. I had resigned myself to be alone. It was then that I met my wife. She snuck up on me. She was a strange anomaly who was just too happy for me. That was the best part, she was the exact person I never saw myself with. We went into our friendship literally just wanting to be friends. At the time she was a straight, women were never of any interest to her. She was unavailable to me, I mean I always knew she was pretty but I refrained from looking at her as dating potential. When we both realized what was happening well here we are a few years later happily married. 

My wife would be considered lipstick to the full extent. Her hair and make up are always done. Heels are a daily necessity for her. Outfits are put together the day before to make sure they are perfect. She packs for a two day trip like were going on a two week cruise. She loves to paint her nails. I mean to tell you how unexpected it was for me to date someone like her, before I met her all I ever did was wash my face and moisturize so everything she did was mind boggling. At this point I can tell you what a contouring brush is for when doing your make up, yup she has been a huge influence in my life and vice versa.

Our circumstances made it difficult for us to even think we could be together and to make it happen was scary. Everything pointed to us not being together not including the simple facts that we were both women. Being of a hispanic background myself and her having a hispanic and middle eastern background was the first of many trials we had to face. None of that mattered though when it came to the person I fell in love with and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with; the woman who has promised to spend the rest of her life with me.

You see as teenagers we tend to be a little tragic. I admit I sure was. Although, if you ask my friends they'll tell you otherwise. They may say that I was very mature and confident but I had insecurities that I never showed to the world. I gave up on love at 18 after my fist girlfriend, and I was the one who broke up with her. At that age the world starts and ends with us. We can't see past today to a better tomorrow. I thought I would be forever alone.

So if you're out there and think that it'll never happen, stop stressing. The love of our life may come in the least expected time in the least expected package. Trust me, please enjoy your youth, enjoy your life because its yours and no one elses'. Love yourself first you know you've heard that. Give yourself the opportunity to be happy for at least one day in your life.

If you ever feel like your alone write to me and I'll be your friend. Don't expect me to be fake. I'll be honest with you and I won't sugar coat it. Remember to accept your faults and learn to get past them. Don't just accept your faults and say well I know my faults and I accept them so you should too. That makes no sense. Accept your faults and make the necessary changes in your life to fix or modify your faults. Make it possible for others to be with you and not just stand you. Not changing to become a better person impedes growth of the mind body and soul. Be willing to become a better person and learn from your experiences. All those experiences will teach you something you will need when you find that special someone.

Love will always find a way!

2012 Elections

Obama is our President again. I am happy because I like him and he benefits me. It was also a big year for women in in Politics. TAMMY BALDWIN, the Senator-Elect from Wisconsin, will become the first openly gay person ever elected to Senate. MAZIE HIRONO, the Senator-Elect from Hawaii, will become the first Asian-American woman in Senate. TAMMY DUCKWORTH, the Representative-Elect for Illinois, will become the first disabled female veteran elected to the House of Reps. (she lost both her legs in the Iraq War).

It was tense for a few hours when the votes from the bible belt came in. Now I know that many people like Romney problem is he doesn’t like me at all. I mean his stance on women was crap, homosexuals out the door and did you hear what he said on abortion and the rights of women. I know I don’t have to explain it all, he was just not beneficial to me. 

As for Obama well he gave me healthcare, for gays he repealed "Don't ask don't tell." I feel that balance has once again been restored. Many things were done to celebrate but I figured I'd share some of the outfits I created for equality and Americans voting out there. As well as some pictures of our voting stickers. 

Lastly there was the victory for marriage equality in four states. 

Remember don't just vote for the President but also for what's important in you state and you city. 

The Puzzle That is My Life

The beautiful part about my blog is its mine. Now please don’t be offended I mean no disrespect its just nice to have a place to put pen to paper. Therefore I am free to speak on any and all topics pertaining to being me. Now it will take a long time to truly understand who I am. We are all intricate mazes and puzzles. Everyone can see what’s on the outside but the walls and passages that lead inward make us who we are. The longer it takes to get to the other side the more you get to know why a person is the way they are. 

My experiences are based upon living in a huge Metropolitan city, Los Angeles, to immigrant parents. My parents migrated in 1974, they’ve have spent more time in this country than in their place of origin. Now what does that mean for my upbringing? Well I can say that my parents are fairly evolved, unfortunately some of their beliefs have stayed. For example, my mom thinks you should wear your underwear inside out for good luck, or if you see a shooting star pull your hair so it will grow. These are just basic ideas. Believe me my mom faked a heart attack when she saw my first tattoo, they have a strong opinion on everything. 

My educational background is very interesting. I went to private school from pre-kinder to the third grade. Catholic school from fourth grade to Senior year in High School. All girls high school to be exact. A public University for my Bachelors. I’m not a spoiled kid who got everything they wanted. I will show you why later. 

My brother on the other hand went to public school all his life, by choice. Mom tried to put him in my school when he was little but he didn’t want to go. Yea my parents liked me more, just kidding. My brother is my mothers son and I am my fathers daughter, in theory of course because biologically we are full siblings. My parents were strict as hell, so when I see kids now a days being brats I don’t know what happened to parenting, I digress.

My dad cut coupons to save us money. We only went to the department stores if there were sales or coupons. We went to swapmeets and the downtown alleys. For any one who doesn’t know what they are, alleys are literally alleys in downtown Los Angeles. Alleys are centered around an area in Downtown Los Angeles. There is a specific area called Santee Alley which is located between Santee Street, Maple Avenue, Olympic Boulevard and 12th Street in downtown Los Angeles. There are other places in the area such as The Fashion District, Toy District, Theatre District. This is where you find bootleg and authentic items for a cheaper price. 

I got my permit to drive at 15 1/2, my license with provisions at 16 and my first job at 16 1/2, making minimum wage of $6.75 at the time. Then my first promotion at 18 making almost twice as much at $12.35. 

As a senior in High School my brother was convicted of conspiring to bank robbery and was locked up for 36 months. Typical hispanic family right, its okay you can laugh, I had to learn to. How did it shape me? Well being only 2 of us, seeing my mom fall into depression my dad into isolation, I gave up the opportunity to go to several universities in San Diego and San Francisco, because I was afraid to leave my parents alone. 

I went to college for the first year and a half and my parents helped as best as they could with sending money to my brother and holding down the fort. I covered all other expenses, car maintenance, gas, books, and everything a college student needs. 

At 20 I moved in with my girlfriend, which was also around the time my brother was let out. When I moved out they helped me a little less. I didn’t mind because my brother wanted to go back to school and I knew like always that there were sacrifices I had to make. They were not thrilled with the prospect of their youngest moving out, but things were getting tense at home. 

Ultimately what all this comes down to is I want you to see that my upbringing wasn’t typical. So please don’t take anything out of context because it and I won’t make any sense. 

Bienvenue

Somebody That I Used to Know Ch. 01

I finished the last outfits for my story series Somebody That I Used to Know. These outfits are for the first chapter in the series. I know I kind of worked backwards but it fit with the release of the last chapter. Have fun, enjoy and let me know what you think.

Somebody That I Used to Know

Monamante on Polyvore

Monamante on Tumblr

WEHO Halloween 2012

Halloween, the day that allows you to let the freak in you out. Well the wifey and I were Dark Mad Hatter and Dark Alice. We spent the evening in the best place to parade around with all the normal freaks of the world WEHO (West Hollywood).

The first year we went I was working at one of the banks that was dead center of the parade. My wife was dropped off by her parents and my parents dropped of my costume as you can tell we were both still very young. I remember the most popular costumes being BDSM based costumes; lots of people with chains, cuffs, leather and whips. My favorites were the ladies and queens with their large wings dressed as Victoria Secret Angels, wearing 6 inch heels with platforms making them tower over everyone.

As the years have passed the costumes have been just as eccentric, with fully functioning transformers, expensive looking superhero costumes and homemade creative costumes such as a man blowing in the wind or people on stilts. I mean the amount of creativity is endless. Groups of people as a set of characters from movies, such as Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton version, the Justice League, or a group of Tina Turners. Two years ago everyone wanted to be Lady Gaga. 

Last night was no different than all the others years, however, the best part was the sense of unity. For the first time I did not see any protestors. That is what kills me, we don’t go to your church or your activities and force our beliefs down your throat, why would you come to our festival if you don’t like us. 

Well this year I didn’t see any but what I did see was the Sheriff’s Department, the firefighters and EMT’s out and about to keep the peace and taking care of everyone. I mean they’re always there but this time I really noticed how awesome they are. There was a patrol vehicle parked in front of the station and a few Sheriff’s. You could take pictures with them or them throwing you in the back of the vehicle or well let your creative juices flow and picture what you would do if the chance was presented to you and more than likely someone tried it.  It cost $3 and the money went to charity.

A group of gay guys in shiny leggings and glitter all over their chest asked a Sheriff if they could take a picture with him and he was cool about it. What stuck with me was when they said thank you and walked away, he said; “Be Safe and take care of yourselves out there.” I mean to many it may not mean anything but to me it showed how sensitive they are to the issues that face the LGBT community. In a world where we are still denied the right to marry, where we are bullied and murdered for who we are it is beautiful to see that some in law enforcement have our backs.  All throughout the parade Sheriff’s were asked to pose for pictures and not once saw did I see one say no. This also went for Fire Fighters and EMT’s, everyone was more than willing to pose for pictures. 

If you have never been, next year make sure to make time to join the fun. It starts at 6:00 PM and goes to 11:00 PM. However the clubs stay in full effect till the early morning hours. You can walk up and down Santa Monica, from La Cienega to Doheny Drive, in your costume. Check out what everyone else is wearing and how risque they can get. Be prepared for lots of skin, tucking and potentially X-rated costumes. I do not recommend bringing anyone under high school age, just because exposing them to some of that stuff isn’t appropriate in my eyes at least. The clubs get full and are open to everyone gay or not, with age restrictions of course. Once the clubs open, the drinks start to pour and the alcohol levels get a rising. So remember by 10 most people are a little tipsy, 12 drunk, later well most are falling on their ass. Don’t let that discourage you that is part of the fun. 

Bring a camera because the costumes are picture worthy. If your costume strikes someone as interesting they may want a picture of you or with you. I have never encountered any dreadful or dangerous situation but always be careful its a scary world out there. 

We were able to enjoy ourselves and make new friends all in one night and so can you. Remember to smile often you never know who might need one. Don’t forget to go check out the fun next year. And if you’re ever in town WEHO is always up for some fun. Maybe we’ll see each other there soon. 

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