I know it is a struggle to live in a society that can constantly be harassing you. Dealing with people in your life that are unsupportive or mean. Living a life of shame or distress. I haven't had it easy and it has been a struggle. I don't hate myself for the person that I am and the person I have grown to become. I accept myself and if there is something that I feel is a flaw I try to work on it, not for others but to become a better person.
I know its hard and we may not have the support we need to face the realities of this world. Just do me a favor and listen to this. You're not alone. None of us are. I am here for anyone who needs it. What this is, is a blessing in disguise.
A website called 40 moms 40 messages. If you don't have that ear to speak to or the words to get you through the day visit this site. There is somewhere you can turn to just don't give up. You don't have be alone for the holidays.
40 Moms 40 Messages
Showing posts with label Proud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Proud. Show all posts
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Discriminated
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against, picket signs... Eminem-Cleaning out my closet
If you're a minority someway somehow you have been discriminated against. We live in a society where we glorify war and hate love. As a minority you have to understand all the issues that affect you. Issues that try to oppress you.
I face a few issues or problems because I check a few minority boxes; Hispanic, Lesbian, Woman. These are issues that have been fought for by generations before and issues we are still fighting.
Hispanics have faced racism from day one like all the non "Native American" ethinicities before and after them. I don't think that anyone besides Native Americans have a right over this land and they aren't the ones with the problem. For Mexicans they were denied their own territory. The one thing that pisses me off is that some "white people" (I use this term loosely) act superior when they're immigrants too. Now I say white because we as a society define each other by color. We don't bother to study geography enough to be able to discern where everyone is from. The worst part is the term race, we are ONE human race. I know that not all of them have a superiority complex I have met many great white, anglo-American people, but on that same token I have met some racist assholes. All ethnic backgrounds have people with superiority complexes, who believe they are better than others.
Woman fought for their right to be an equal gender. We are still payed less in the work environment and have to face a glass ceiling in male dominated environments. Recently in the elections our right to an abortion was an issue even though its our body and no one elses. The definition of what rape is was questioned by an ignorant bigot of a man. We are still treated as if we have no right to speak for ourselves and make our own decisions.
As a lesbian I am still fighting that battle, we all are. As homosexuals we are fighting for equality. We don't have simple human rights. We are denied rights because of who we sleep with or who we love. Lucky for me and my generation people have been fighting for our rights for years and have won a few.
Recently I went to get my haircut. I had long hair all my life, from the moment I came out the womb my mom insisted that I should have long beautiful hair, her words not mine. When I was 18 I cut it to mid-back then shoulder length. Then finally just short. I went and got my hair cut short on the sides no more than an inch long and longer at the top maybe 4-5 inches long. Now I have been going to the same hairstylist for the past 20 years, I was a kid when she first started cutting my hair. It was for this reason that when I decided to go short I didn't go to her. She's kind of like an aunt and her opinion weighs heavily on me. She cuts my mom's, grandma and aunts' hair. So I went to a different hairstylist for that reason and because my wife bought me a Groupon.
Now for the touch up I went to my hairstylist. And then as a famous Drag Queen says "The jig is up." It hit her like ton of bricks, I'm gay. I feared for my hair and head. My hairstylist is a Jehovah's Witness and I am not exactly a welcomed anomaly. I saw it in her eyes when it hit her. Then my edging up became a little harsher. I wanted to cry because I was still the same kid she had known for the past 20 years. I was still the same person and it hurt. I vowed not to go back. But how can I not go back she's good at what she does and she hadn't said anything.
The next time I went back she was different. She kind of looked at me and my wife and just smiled. I think that the months that went by helped her see that I was no different. She was back to talking to me and being herself and the haircut went smoother.
I have confidence and insecurities. I hold my head up high and hope to hell I don't fall. I make you think that I just don't give a fuck. Everyone in this world has an opinion and will judge you. Its up to you to decide how to deal with it. You can let it get you down for long periods of time. Or you can deal with it, accept it and use it to keep you going.
Remember most of the people who say no to homosexuality and same sex marriage will not pay for your bills, they will not visit you at the hospital, they will not hold you when you cry. Their opinions don't matter let them hate all they want. They're stressing about something that has nothing to do with them. If someone wants to worry about your private life then that's their problem. Just remember there are many communities that are there to support you. If none are in your area there are numbers you can call and you will see that you are not alone. I'm also here if you need anyone.
There is nothing wrong with you, with any of us. We are God's children. A wise woman said to me, "No one is evil, but we all have evil within us. Some of us just let it run our lives." When life gets you down get back because it will get better. Don't lose faith and don't lose hope, we are all meant for greatness. Once you start finding your confidence everyone's stop mattering.
www.GLBTnearMe.org
CONTACT INFO:
Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
If you're a minority someway somehow you have been discriminated against. We live in a society where we glorify war and hate love. As a minority you have to understand all the issues that affect you. Issues that try to oppress you.
I face a few issues or problems because I check a few minority boxes; Hispanic, Lesbian, Woman. These are issues that have been fought for by generations before and issues we are still fighting.
Hispanics have faced racism from day one like all the non "Native American" ethinicities before and after them. I don't think that anyone besides Native Americans have a right over this land and they aren't the ones with the problem. For Mexicans they were denied their own territory. The one thing that pisses me off is that some "white people" (I use this term loosely) act superior when they're immigrants too. Now I say white because we as a society define each other by color. We don't bother to study geography enough to be able to discern where everyone is from. The worst part is the term race, we are ONE human race. I know that not all of them have a superiority complex I have met many great white, anglo-American people, but on that same token I have met some racist assholes. All ethnic backgrounds have people with superiority complexes, who believe they are better than others.
Woman fought for their right to be an equal gender. We are still payed less in the work environment and have to face a glass ceiling in male dominated environments. Recently in the elections our right to an abortion was an issue even though its our body and no one elses. The definition of what rape is was questioned by an ignorant bigot of a man. We are still treated as if we have no right to speak for ourselves and make our own decisions.
As a lesbian I am still fighting that battle, we all are. As homosexuals we are fighting for equality. We don't have simple human rights. We are denied rights because of who we sleep with or who we love. Lucky for me and my generation people have been fighting for our rights for years and have won a few.
Recently I went to get my haircut. I had long hair all my life, from the moment I came out the womb my mom insisted that I should have long beautiful hair, her words not mine. When I was 18 I cut it to mid-back then shoulder length. Then finally just short. I went and got my hair cut short on the sides no more than an inch long and longer at the top maybe 4-5 inches long. Now I have been going to the same hairstylist for the past 20 years, I was a kid when she first started cutting my hair. It was for this reason that when I decided to go short I didn't go to her. She's kind of like an aunt and her opinion weighs heavily on me. She cuts my mom's, grandma and aunts' hair. So I went to a different hairstylist for that reason and because my wife bought me a Groupon.
 |
| This isn't me, it's who the hairstyle was modeled after. |
The next time I went back she was different. She kind of looked at me and my wife and just smiled. I think that the months that went by helped her see that I was no different. She was back to talking to me and being herself and the haircut went smoother.
I have confidence and insecurities. I hold my head up high and hope to hell I don't fall. I make you think that I just don't give a fuck. Everyone in this world has an opinion and will judge you. Its up to you to decide how to deal with it. You can let it get you down for long periods of time. Or you can deal with it, accept it and use it to keep you going.
Remember most of the people who say no to homosexuality and same sex marriage will not pay for your bills, they will not visit you at the hospital, they will not hold you when you cry. Their opinions don't matter let them hate all they want. They're stressing about something that has nothing to do with them. If someone wants to worry about your private life then that's their problem. Just remember there are many communities that are there to support you. If none are in your area there are numbers you can call and you will see that you are not alone. I'm also here if you need anyone.
There is nothing wrong with you, with any of us. We are God's children. A wise woman said to me, "No one is evil, but we all have evil within us. Some of us just let it run our lives." When life gets you down get back because it will get better. Don't lose faith and don't lose hope, we are all meant for greatness. Once you start finding your confidence everyone's stop mattering.
www.GLBTnearMe.org
CONTACT INFO:
Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Proud
I am proud of my brother-in-law. Simple and to the point right. He's 21 and I feel like I helped in the process of raising him. Now, I in no way take credit for it. My wife, his sister, practically raised him from the time she was 6 up until he turned 18. So basically all 18 years of his life. I'm, not going to explain how it worked out that way, but, she was practically his mom for all intents and purposes. When she was old enough to work she paid for almost everything he had.
When she and I moved in together he ended up living with us, strange I know for such a new relationship. It was then that I matured just a little bit more. We both made sure to either take him to school or make sure he was out the door on time. Then when getting home he had chores to do. Then when either my wife or I came home from work we started dinner. So he lived with us his junior and senior year of high school not the easiest in a teenagers life and not the easiest for two women in their very early 20's.
The point I want to make is he made me proud today. Both he and his younger sister see me as their sister at this point so when they have accomplishments they either come to me or my wife and they know we will tell each other. Well he's a teacher's aide at a high school and tell us what he does in his classes. He explained that recently the lessons had taken on more of a discussion perspective instead of lectures. Now just to clarify he is not working with general population high school students but rather the elite of the school, students who are actually interested in college.
He brought up the topic of religion, one I will not really explore today but will sometime in the future. Now we all know this a touchy subject one rarely explored amongst the younger population. Now I will not go into the argument but he explained how in order to have a belief we need to understand what we are believing in. He said that he was willing to listen to anyone's argument if it contradicted his because he wanted to learn and understand. He wanted to see it from another person's perspective and if they can disprove the commonly accepted theory then he could then see their point.
Over the last few years I have met some truly close-minded individuals, varying in ages. Our younger population, usually 21 and under, tend to be very egocentric. Now I do not mean to offend anyone but the truth is that that age group tends to see things only their way and are not open to other peoples' opinions generally not taking advice from the older and wiser, not to say that all of our youth is this way. I can accept that I might have shown signs of this theory and I accept that I was wrong then.
It was an honor to see him open himself to the possibility that what he holds as true may be wrong. It was great to hear him speak of the lack of evolution amongst the community because of a lack of understanding. To hear him speak on the defensive of people against homosexuality was heart warming. I am proud of him because he is truly a great young man that will lead his generation to greatness someday. He is what our youth needs, strong-minded individuals willing to learn, wanting to progress and looking to succeed. An individual that doesn't want to follow a crowd, right or wrong but and individual that uses art to vocalize his opinion.
I am proud to call him my brother because he stands up for what he believes to be true.
When she and I moved in together he ended up living with us, strange I know for such a new relationship. It was then that I matured just a little bit more. We both made sure to either take him to school or make sure he was out the door on time. Then when getting home he had chores to do. Then when either my wife or I came home from work we started dinner. So he lived with us his junior and senior year of high school not the easiest in a teenagers life and not the easiest for two women in their very early 20's.
The point I want to make is he made me proud today. Both he and his younger sister see me as their sister at this point so when they have accomplishments they either come to me or my wife and they know we will tell each other. Well he's a teacher's aide at a high school and tell us what he does in his classes. He explained that recently the lessons had taken on more of a discussion perspective instead of lectures. Now just to clarify he is not working with general population high school students but rather the elite of the school, students who are actually interested in college.
He brought up the topic of religion, one I will not really explore today but will sometime in the future. Now we all know this a touchy subject one rarely explored amongst the younger population. Now I will not go into the argument but he explained how in order to have a belief we need to understand what we are believing in. He said that he was willing to listen to anyone's argument if it contradicted his because he wanted to learn and understand. He wanted to see it from another person's perspective and if they can disprove the commonly accepted theory then he could then see their point.
Over the last few years I have met some truly close-minded individuals, varying in ages. Our younger population, usually 21 and under, tend to be very egocentric. Now I do not mean to offend anyone but the truth is that that age group tends to see things only their way and are not open to other peoples' opinions generally not taking advice from the older and wiser, not to say that all of our youth is this way. I can accept that I might have shown signs of this theory and I accept that I was wrong then.
It was an honor to see him open himself to the possibility that what he holds as true may be wrong. It was great to hear him speak of the lack of evolution amongst the community because of a lack of understanding. To hear him speak on the defensive of people against homosexuality was heart warming. I am proud of him because he is truly a great young man that will lead his generation to greatness someday. He is what our youth needs, strong-minded individuals willing to learn, wanting to progress and looking to succeed. An individual that doesn't want to follow a crowd, right or wrong but and individual that uses art to vocalize his opinion.
I am proud to call him my brother because he stands up for what he believes to be true.
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