About Me

A basic question that everyone wants to know is ‘who are you’. How do you answer that? I am who I am, isn’t that enough? Not for most people. Therefore, here is what I will give you and then you can try to fit me into some sort of stereotyped label that has been built for someone like me. You’ll come to find that I do not fit any mold and neither do most. So let’s get started.

As a lesbian (label #1), and a Catholic (label #2) many will face the question of how does my religion fit into this? The answer is simple; every religion is based upon interpretation of the word of God or a higher power/being/energy, by man. Lesson number one learned from going to Catholic school for more than ten years was: Do not take the bible literally.  If you do not take anything from what I may write, please take that. Remember those were different times when the bible was written.

The second lesson I learned from the sisters at my school was “God doesn’t hate the sinner he hates the sin”. I had an epiphany that year, I was in the 7th grade and I remember my mind instantly going to homosexuality. My thought was “I don’t care if they’re gay, why would I hate them for no reason.”

That was the first inclination that I might have known I was gay.  

My parents put me in sports at the tender age of 5. I played t-ball with an all boys team. At the time, 20 years ago, there were no all girl teams for 5-year olds. Then I went to the minor’s league, same thing there, all boys. My dad was the one who used to take me to all my practices and stay until the end. He would also attend all my games, with my mom and brother. He, however, was my biggest supporter. I also had a mom who loved to dress me in pink pants, pink shirts, pink shoes, dresses but ultimately I was still a tomboy.

It all came down to who I was. The epic battle of Nature vs. Nurture, and let’s just say nature was the reigning champion with me. My mom wore dresses, high heels, skirts and make-up. And yet I wanted to wear tennis shoes, pants, t-shirt and ponytails all day every day. My mom wanted me to do cheerleading or drill team but I wanted to be outdoors playing sports.

Now don’t misunderstand me playing sports doesn’t make you gay. Please don’t stop your kids from playing sports because you’re scared that it will make them gay. Look at all the female athletes out there who are married with kids.

What I am trying to do is show you and help you understand that I identified with the male figure in my family. My brother identified with my mother and he is neither feminine nor gay.

Conclusion: sometimes it’s just who a child is, it’s just the way they are born.

I am not easily identifiable into the pretty lesbian labels which society has created. I wear skinny jeans and lose jeans, men’s and women’s. I wear tight shirts, blouses and men’s dress shirts. I have short hair but it’s long on the top and shorter on the side usually styled up into a pompadour style with a faux-hawk towards the back. I spend time doing my hair and make-up before I leave the house.

My wife says I’m chap-stick (label #3), but the heels I wear when I have to dress up for work or job interviews or funerals, which are like job interviews, make me real lipstick. Although the suit and chucks I’m wearing on our wedding day say otherwise.

I hope that you can see where I’m going with this. Most people will not fit into one cute little box. No matter what you think you know there will always be something to tell you otherwise. Being Gay isn’t just about genes or choices; it’s also about life experiences. I will not discount anyone’s reason for being gay because everybody has and will have different experiences that shape us to be who we are. We just have to embrace who we are and why we are that way.

So to answer who I am…  I guess you’re going to have to keep coming around to see what else you can find out.